Ok, so obviously I haven't been posting as much.
Going to school part-time, working full-time, and living at home are all extremely, extremely stressful. I thought living at home would make it less stressful because, hello, no rent. But honestly, I am just not happy there. I cannot afford to remove myself from this situation so I have to work on changing my attitude about it but that's proving to be a little harder than I thought. This is like a whole different blog post in itself that I will probably never write but unlike a lot of you, I am not close with my parents, particularly my mother. We have good times from time to time but for the most part, I don't understand her and she doesn't understand me. The only thing we both understand is food and booze so we bond over that. It pretty much stops there.
I love my job! I really do. And I love school, too. It's the combination that is a lot more overwhelming than I anticipated. I will forever kick myself in the ass for not doing this shit when I didn't have to work at the same time.
Everything above is clashing together right now. I have a bunch of shit due this week, a test this weekend, a concert to go to Thursday (first world problems I know haha), and this is my hell week in the office (closing time), and it's just all. really. overwhelming. And I'm not even taking hard classes right now. They're easy, but time consuming. I know there are people out there working full-time, going to school full-time, and probably raising kids and shit and honestly? HOW THE FUCK DO THEY DO THAT. Kudos to you/them because if I had to throw kids in the mix, well, that'd be hard as shit.
I keep things pretty light and airy around here and never really get into deep and personal shit because 1) no1curr and 2) that shit is boring.
However, it's what's happening right now and hopefully when I look back on this later, I'll remember that I was able to push through everything and it'll probably seem a lot smaller then. I try to consistently remind myself that I could have cancer or some terminal illness or be dead, so it could always be worse. I just have to suck it up and keep on going.
I have to say, without Dereck's support I would probably be a nut case right now. He is so encouraging no matter how fucking crazy I get. I'm a really lucky woman and shout out to the big dude upstairs for hooking it up!
So yeah. That's what's going on in my world right now. I knew going into this it would be stressful but I guess this is the first week that that became a reality for me. Hopefully after it's all over, I'll be ready for the next time it happens.